I grew up in a household where it was believed that crying would bring misfortune, and it took me a LONG time to understand that it was not so.
My parents and their parents grew up in a time of extreme physical hardship.
I remember my mother telling me how she was temporarily asked to leave school because her tuition was not yet paid. She would go and walk to the streets, stretch her neck looking for my maternal grandmother, and wait for her until she came to pay for the tuition.
Not crying and putting on the bravest face were their defense to poverty.
They couldn’t allow themselves to feel the shame.
They didn’t want to pity themselves.
They hated being looked at with pity.
And so,they put on the bravest face and rarely cried – even in moments of JOY.
Thus, I was raised not to feel but to move forward.
It took me so long to allow myself to truly feel all my emotions – the good, the bad, the ugly and anything in between.
Slowly, I worked on allowing myself to feel all of them – the joy, the sadness, the excitement, the giddiness, the yearning, the bliss…
It was even much harder to feel those that I termed as ‘bad’ and ‘ugly’ – frustrations, anger, rage, sadness, grief….
But I noticed,
The more I let myself feel the anger, the pain, the ugly, the discomfort…
The more I felt the joy, the bliss, the excitement, the beauty, the bubble of love!
What’s interesting is that I’ve become more joyful than I’ve ever been in my life and much less bitter and angry.
The more I allowed myself to feel those ‘bad’ things – the less their hold on me!
It’s easier to just let go and move on.
Are you still shrugging off your ‘dumb’ feelings?
Comment and let me support you.
You can also come and join me in my group @maria&miracles to be around a bunch of beautiful beings who are also on their individual journey to self-mastery.
Blessing of miracles,